Dot.conor...

is moving...to a new server. our apologies for the serious lack of entries in the past few weeks, but the dot.conor staff has been working tirelessly in creating an all-new experience for all of the dot.con-rades out there in cyberspace. please be patient, dot.conor 2.0 will be up and running any day now. in the meantime, peruse our archives, visit our friends' sites, or just sit and wait.

thank you for your patronage.

Chow down on...

baked cheetos quoth mandisa, "god is good, honey." and for once we agree with one of her remarks for the sheer fact that baked cheetos are indeed heaven-sent. they have everything their grease-filled brethren have: the odd shape, the unique texture, the factory-created orange cheese mixture that stains everything. what the baked boys don't have are the calories, the fat grams, and the feeling of betrayal to ones body after consuming an entire large bag in one sitting whilst typing an overdue psychology paper back in the college days of yore. (sorry, that was an overshare...) while it'll never be quite understood what the common bond between something called a "cheeto" and a large-jowled tiger is, we are forever grateful to folks at frito-lay for answering our prayers and replacing our lard-filled nightmares with low-fat dreams.

Buy tickets to...

american idols live! admit it, you'll need your 'idol' fix before the television phenomenon starts back up next january (or later this summer if you plan on auditioning...). and while it's sad but true, this will be the last time kevin covais or bucky covington will see the light of day. or so we can hope...

Add to your iPod...

the prize fighter

by the velvet teen

indie rock at its finest, the california trio known as the velvet teen add depth and ethos to a song about a washed up boxer on this track on their "out of the fierce parade" album. featuring a killer hook, and a melody that begs to be echoed, 'the prize fighter' has what most songs by such bands has: staying power. for beneath the power chords, the less-than-stellar vocals, and garage-like production values is a song that actually makes sense in the storytelling, a rarity in today's music scene. and four years after it's release, the song sounds fresher than most new ones. it's dynamite.

See...

mission: impossible 3 do yourself a favor: imagine it's 1985 and you just saw and fell in love with tom cruise in "top gun", and that it's not 2006, the year that the world officially hated tom cruise. now, pony up $20 (after the diet coke and day-old nachos) and see his new movie. it's good. it's really good. j.j. abrams, mastermind behind alias & lost, has taken the ethan hunt franchise and given it a much needed shot in the arm. there's action, there's suspense, there's humor, there's tom cruise. (oh wait, that last one doesn't work anymore.) abrams' supporting cast shines. jonathan rhys meyers, maggie q, ving rhames and keri russell are dynamite as hunt's crew, while laurence fishburne and billy crudup, as execs at the fictional IMF agency, continually make you scratch your head. and philip seymour hoffman thrills as the film's villain. the film is equal parts alias, felicity, and lost, with a smattering of the previous two in the trilogy. and it's worth the price of admission just to see greg grunberg's cameo. trust.

Add to your iPod...

goin' back by dusty springfield forget "son of a preacherman," this is the song that dusty springfield should be famous for. though a relatively unknown track in the states for her, the byrds had a modicum of success with the same track, penned by carole king. the entire song is one sweeping crescendo about self-realization as one ages. dusty's mellow vocals blended with a gentle piano builds into a full-fledged orchestral delight. simply put: a magnificent song.

Dot.conor pick city...

los angeles, california

admittedly not our favorite city in the lower 48, but that's no reason to hate on new york's sibling on the left coast. while there are drastic differences between the city we call home and the city of angels (taxis v. actually driving; rude people v. fake people; rats v. smog) there are many redeeming qualities that la has that ny doesn't: palm trees, pedestrian right of way, warmer climate, pin's hot dogs, the grove, and michael vartan. if there are any dot.con-rades in the greater la area this weekend, feel free to grab a beverage with us as we sit and chit-chat with rande gerber & cindy. ok, we like to dream.

Add to your iPod...

to all of you by syd matters five facts: 1) the singer/songwriter has been compared to nick drake, to thom yorke, to elliott smith 2) he was a hit at this year's south by southwest 3) he's french 4) he's not very pretty 5) his songs will rock your world...and then some

Add to your iPod...

god of wine by third eye blind well before stephan jenkins started to date vanessa carlton, which caused his band to suck forever more, third eye blind made good music. sure the radio-friendly tunes on their debut album were catchy and fun, the bunch of songs on the latter half of the same album were dynamite. "i want you" & "motorcycle drive by", luckily, only have traces of the same band that came up with the "do do do doo, do do do doo" line of their first single. but it's "god of wine" that stands out the most. slow and steady, leading up to a raucous crescendo, the band from san francisco proves that they have more up their sleeve than their hits would suggest. if only that still held true.

Read...

wine for dummies even if you claim to know everything about wine, or you are only familiar with the boxed variety, this book will forever change your life. everything about wine is explained here, from the different types of grapes used, to how to properly store and open wine, to the difference between a zinfandel and a white zinfandel. didn't know there was such thing? well you are going to need more than just this book... the novice will be able to impress his friends at the next cocktail party by discussing the medium body of the vintage cab he's swirling around in the stemless glass in his hand. the newly minted 21-year-old will be able to detect the buttery aftertaste of a 2001 chardonnay as it rolls down her tongue. and the 86-year-old franzia addict will learn that there is life beyond the rubber spout stemming from the cardboard container. at least we can hope.

Everything looks better with a...

sunburn. not the gross kind of sunburn, with oozing blisters and peeling skin, but the look of being sun-kissed for a couple of hours too long. not only will your co-workers think you've been someplace exotic, it makes whatever it is you are wearing pop even more. even a mexican tuxedo will look good. on second thought, maybe not. honestly, never wear the mexi-tux...

Add to your iPod...

here and now by luther vandross the late, great luther (looking terribly thin in that picture) is responsible for some of the greatest soul ballads of all time. while "a house is not a home" and "superstar" are timeless, nothing holds a candle to 1991's "here and now." an unabashed love song that still tugs at the heart strings, luther shows why he is the original 'velvet teddybear.' impeccable range and full of restrained power, luther slays when he sings, "your love is all i need." taken too early due to a stroke, the song is painfully ironic, for as it turns out, the very-closeted singer yearned for someone to say the very thing to, but never did. he struggled with his weight, with the tabloids, and with his own insecurities. screw the newcomers who want to take his thrown, and throw out the covers of his work - luther vandross is the real deal.

Pay attention...

to the band on 'american idol.' they're amazing. the horn section on elliott yamin's "teach me tonight" is superb. the depth that the musicians has is quite impressive. without them, chris would not be chris, katharine would not be "kat", and pickler would not be...oh, wait - she's gone! finally!

You may exhale...

the blogger's block is over. dot.conor has returned. the world will never be the same again...

Add to your iPod...

talk (remix) by coldplay 'how to make a good song better' should be a requisite course taken by all artists, and coldplay's "talk" should be the text book. a great song on its own due to chris martin's voice and jon buckland's unmistakable guitar lick, but what separates the version found on x&y and the new remixed version(s) is night and day. the new mixes add depth that was never there to the song. junkie xl's mix, by far the best of those available, does what every remix has: minutes upon minutes of filler beats capped with the song at hand. but the way that the aforementioned guitar lick permeates those beats makes up for the previous five minutes of teasing noises and hints at what's to come. at its peak, the remix is simply amazing. and at roughly 10 minutes long, it is perfect for the treadmill. press play, run, repeat.

Watch...

thief

fx has become the hbo for folks who don't want to dish out $15 a month for good television. nip/tuck, the shield, and rescue me are all ground-breaking series, but none possess the same spark that thief does. andre braugher's performance is reminiscent of his days on homicide - dark, honest, gritty. the story of professional thieves in post-katrina new orleans focuses less on the jobs, and more on those on the job. each character has a story, and as we slowly learn those, we see that it's one big heap of tragic characters all trying to make an honest living the most dishonest way possible. fierce writing, stellar soundtrack, and tack-sharp acting make this a must-see. there are only 6 episodes in the entire season. catch it before it's stolen off of the airwaves...

Finally...

lent is over. now you may go back to your pagan-like ways of injesting candy, alcohol & fast food like water. gone without masturbation for 40 days and 40 nights? go buy some goggles. and some neosporin.

Learn the lyrics to...

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by panic! at the disco not only is every song title on this las vegas' debut release enjoyable to read, they also pair their brand of dance/rock with lyrics so clever and fresh that they bowl you over upon first listen. after building their fanbase through myspace.com, the group was signed to the same label as fall out boy, a band also known for playing melodic rock music you can't help but nod your head or shake some body part to. with lines like "is it still me that makes you sweat?" and "so you testosterone boys and harlequin girls" it's no surprise that this band's cult following has propelled them from internet obscurity and into society's conscience. note: click on the title of this entry to learn the lyrics

Add to your iPod...

dear mr. president by pink (featuring indigo girls) pink, excuse me, p!nk has always been outspoken, and on her new album she does not relent. from mocking everyone from paris hilton to jessica simpson on her first single "stupid girls," the philadelphia native goes after someone far more important in the aptly titled "dear mr. president." sounding nothing like the rest of her catalog, alecia moore borrows the vocal and instrumental talents of amy ray & emily saliers to add an additional layer to her powerful, yet demure-sounding rant. while the focus of this song is clearly george w., mr. cheney does not escape pink's wrath, either. the lyrics, "what kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away/and what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?" are overtly directed at the vice president and his lesbian daughter. this song is refreshing not only for the subject matter, but for the fact that it actually sounds like the indigo girls of yore, before they got too righteous and experimental. oh, and pink sounds good, too.

Tuesday's guilty pleasure...

what's left of me by nick lachey it's a good song! trust. with one listen, the misery that was soul-o will be erased from memory and you will learn to at least appreciate who will be the more successful 'newlywed' (you heard it here first). no longer living behind the blonde curtain of his ex-wife's fake hair, the boy from ohio shows us why 98degrees was successful - he knows how to craft unadulterated cheese. and even if you're lactose intolerant, you'll fall victim to lachey's beckoning gaze and irresistible hooks.

Shed a tear...

for mandisa it is a dark, dark day for those living in mandisa-land. for those not in the know, our beloved plus-sized sister with pipes of gold got an unexpected au revoir from american idol last eve, thus sufficiently ruining all hopes for a true diva to rip the crown from fantasia's weave. it's ok, though. not only did barry manilow promise her a spot on his stage, lane bryant and fashion bug plus would be fools to not snatch this starlet up. so, here's to you, mandisa - may you thrive in your post-idolhood with kim locke, frenchie, and jennifer hudson. you'll be missed. unlike bucky, who, along with his dreaded hair, is still around...

Add to your iPod...

flying high by jem devoted dot.conor reader, katie from rhode island, emailed us about this little ditty from jem, the young welsh singer. and it's as simple as her name is: soft vocals accompanied with a lone acoustic guitar. her harmonies do the trick, especially the falsetto that she whips out on the later versions of the chorus. you'll listen to this and think that jem is truly outrageous.

04.05.06

on this day in history: 1614: pocahontas married john smith 1864: siege of yorktown began 1976: howard hughes died 1988: tracy chapman released "fast car." (we love black lesbians) & those born on this day: spencer tracy bette davis booker t. washington gregory peck and... mars rogiero, a tried and true friend of the folks at dot.conor, not to mention the editor's #1 nemesis. cheers to you on your 24th. may you get laid over and over tonight.

Where is...

mindy cohn the best part of the facts of life (you know it's true tootie fans...) mindy has been conspicuously absent on the pop culture radar. though she has been staying afloat as the voice of velma on the latest editions of scooby doo, she has yet to tackle a role much like she did on the show that introduced us to kim fields, george clooney, mackenzie astin, & molly ringwald (look it up). there will never be another natalie green. and for this, the world will never be the same.

Add to your iPod...

send for henny by the trashcan sinatras before you even start, let the obvious be stated: dot.conor has already shared its love for the trashcan sinatras with its faithful one time before. but as with all good things in life, one needs seconds. and on the first day to actually feel like spring since the equinox, and a day that may even tempt us with a taste of summer, there is no better song to let flow from your earbuds than this. happy guitars, harmonies that are reminiscent of juliana hatfield, and perhaps the best spring-like line: "come into my house, throw open the windows wide. go back to your house to do likewise" all add up to one addicting tune. not sure who henny is, but when it gets too heavy, send for her.

Shameless plug of the day...

this morning, the dot.conor staff awoke to breaking news on all of our email addresses: the big pony is back. the big pony, you ask? just think of the famous ralph lauren horse magnified by 25 and you have the big pony. flawless on a polo shirt, smokin' on a hoodie, this is the thing to don this spring. dot.conor guarantees that you'll love the way you look in a big pony, that you'll come back for more. and tell the naysayers to leave the ridicule at the door - they're just jealous that their abercrombie moose is so measly.

It's almost time for...

seersucker don't let the stripes and unconventional fabric ruffle your feathers - anyone can wear seersucker. but wearing it well is another story. seersucker suits are for professional croquet players over the age of 60 who reside in wales. a seersucker sportcoat with a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops is perfect for the twenty-something manhattanite. just be wary of the eventual seersucker backlash. it's bound to happen. much like vodka, it is possible to have too much of a good thing.

Add to your iPod...

panic by the smiths ahh, the way pop music used to sound: short & sweet with just enough sass and punch to have you humming it for hours, if not days. morrissey and co. deliver and then some on the classic "panic." pete yorn attempted to cover this song a few years ago, but no one will be able to replicate the majesty of the original. the lyrics, about the crap music played in the clubs in the united kingdom, is what the song embodies. "hang the blessed dj/because the music that they constantly play/it says nothing to me about my life." the ending hook is unforgettable as morrissey and his slew of back-up singers (many of whom were kids) repeat in a chant-like fashion, "hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj." you'll be hard-pressed to not chant along with them. all with me now, "hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj."

Add to your iPod...

demolition by ryan adams that's right - download the entire album. it's that good. by far adams' most underrated work, the songs here are reminiscent of his days with whiskeytown: slower, more melodic, yet no two songs sound the same. "dear chicago" is the star of this show, though, as adams strums his guitar whilst pouring his heart out. it's two minutes and thirteen seconds of musical bliss that rips you apart instantly. demolition exemplifies why he has been lauded as the bob dylan of his generation. good music comes too easily to him. luckily, we are on the receiving end, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

Here is...

the real final 4 yo dog, check it: mandisa, chris, katharine, & elliott will be the final four idols standing. mark my words.

Rediscover...

the york peppermint pattie dark chocolate + some minty gelatinous mixture = candy nirvana. york should replace the "a low fat food" with "contents could cause extreme addiction." not only does the peppermint pattie cause your tastebuds to do somersaults and exult with glee, they package this candied heroin in a shiny silver package that beckons you to with its beauty, only trick you into ripping it open, savoring its contents, and forcing you to eat roughly 3-8 more in one sitting. getting the sensation once is clearly not enough. damn you, york. damn you!

Add to your iPod...

the golden age by beck as soon as beck hanson strums the first chord of the song, you're sucked in and he does not relent until the last note of the pedal steel sends you forth. the opening cut off of beck's 2002 effort, sea change, this song sets off a litany of tracks that not only make you want to find the nearest razor blade, but also make you want to find someone to hug and tell them how much you love them. that's the thing with beck - you never know what you're going to get. a dramatic departure from every other album he's made, this disc is so bogged down with melancholy bliss that it makes you feel kind of happy because his songs are that good. "the golden age" is remarkably simple: acoustic guitars, pedal steel, "oohs" & "ahhs", and hanson's distinctive voice lift song into the realm of superiority. an added bonus is seeing this song performed live. witness beck alone on a guitar while his band sits at a dinner table playing glasses, plates, salt & pepper shakers, even food. brilliant. "put your hands on the wheel/let the golden age begin..." so much more than a song lyric, but a life motto...

Where, oh where...

is spring...?

The bandwagon...

has set sail. the wildcats of villanova will take their first steps on their path towards victory on friday. put on your blue and white. turn on cbs. sing the fight song. and remember the post that dot.conor published on february 1st in which it was predicted that the 'cats will be in the final 4. all with me now, "v for villanova..."

Add to your iPod...

8th world wonder by Kimberley locke quite possibly one of the most underrated contestants to ever grace the american idol stage, ms. locke emerged as a successful solo artist long after seacrest announced that ruben (who?) studdard triumphed over ms. clay aiken in the season 2 finale. almost as well-known for her duet with frenchie davis on "band of gold", her pop radio hit "8th world wonder" is pure gold cheese. lame-as-hell lyrics combined with mediocre studio production make this song irresistible. the truth is, kim can sing. it is unfortunate, though, that her label made her pose for her cover art in her own apartment, but that doesn't take away from the fact that locke should have been the american idol. why, you ask? well, ruben has eaten himself into oblivion, while clay pretends to be straight to an unbelieving public. this leaves room for an idol replacement. my vote: the 8th world wonder herself.

It's good to be a...

leprechaun tomorrow is st. patrick's day, a day where beer and whiskey are downed like water, the non-irish yearn to be, and the irish gloat because they are. kelly green is the color of choice for most folk, including the leprechaun. the usually non-existent, small sprite will be brought to life by fat, drunk, middle-aged men all across this fine country of ours. no longer will they be confined to cereal boxes and the dreams of our ancestors. i, the editor of dot.conor, and a true irish lad through and through, wish everyone a happy st. patrick's day. if you're in new york, stay home and watch the parade with a handle of jameson in your hand. if you're not, well erin go bragh to you then. and please, wipe that little bit of vomit from your chin.

Add to your iPod...

long time coming by delays the intro is unmistakable, for when you hear it (and you most certainly have) you, too, want to be in that diamonds commercial being asked to marry someone again while your parents and friends hang out, hidden, on the piazza (or wherever they are) above. sheer brilliance. so add this song by the british trio off of their faded seaside glamour album, put your ipod on, go to some piazza nearby and re-enact that magical moment. a killer opening followed by a catchy brit-pop tune, minus the self-loathing and blahh vocals. a good tune, a great commercial, a fantasy unfulfilled...

Add to your iPod...

worldwide suicide by pearl jam i will admit - i'm not even close to being a die-hard pearl jam fan, but i do like the band. they've survived popular music's ups and downs while managing to keep their sound intact, which is a feat in and of itself. now, more than a decade after their not-so-subtle debut, and more than four years since they last hit the studio, seattle's finest is back. and their first single...is really good. far better than half of the stuff heard on terrestrial radio today, eddie vedder and co. have never sounded fresher. available only on their website, or on some site called myspace.com, "worldwide suicide" will surely put pearl jam back on the top of the charts, and will garner more fans from the younger set, which makes me feel only older. swell.

Pay homage to...

the hotel bed there is something magical about (good) hotel beds. whether it's the crisp white linens, the heavenly feather bed, or the sheer opulence of a king-sized mattress, hotel beds are in a class by themselves. pretty to look at, prettier to sleep in, the hotel bed is an experience. the sagamore in miami, the beverly hilton in los angeles, the four seasons in dallas, the fairmont copley plaza in boston, and the sofitel in philadelphia (pictured) are some of the best hotel beds offered - beds so good you literally melt into them. someone please pass the ambien.

Happy birthday...

conor mcgill the editor of dot.conor turns 24 today. we wish him well as he ventures into his mid-twenties. and we hope he likes what we have learned in photoshop. rumor has it he's picky about himself in pictures...

Rediscover...

orangina the carbonated beverage that is 12% juice and 2% pulp is 100% delicious. not as bubbly as the standard soft drink (they do tell you to shake it, after all), orangina reigns supreme as the most underrated drink in the market. sweet, yet tart, and light, yet full of natural pulp, this stuff is simply delicious. beyond-refreshing, there is simply not another beverage like it. drink up.

Happy birthday...

marion barry the dopest (sorry...) mayor in u.s. history turns 70 today. after rocking out to "it's hard out here to be a pimp" on his iPod, the district of columbia's former mayor is going to blow out his birthday candles, then do a line of blow. smoking crack on camera is so 1990.

Add to your iPod...

i have nothing by whitney houston quite possibly the best song from one of the worst movies ever, this is houston in her prime. her voice is flawless, powerful and polished. she sings her heart out and you can feel her emotion every time she belts out the chorus. it's a sad reminder, though, of what she was and what she could have been. and how fitting is the title now that her current claim to fame is being the drugged-up wife of bobby brown on his train-wreck of a reality show. where's kevin costner when she needs him?

Happy birthday...

ed mcmahon tonight show sidekick, star search emcee, publisher's clearing house spokesperson, grandfather of alex schmerge. is there anything this guy can't do? today he's turning 83, and still sporting those huge glasses.

It's not so...

hard out here for a pimp after all... did crash really win best picture? did dolly lose to the three 6 mafia? did a bird land on charlize theron's shoulder for the entire show? apparently, the answer is 'yes' to all three of those smoldering questions. i will admit, crash is good. is it the best picture of the year? no. it was well-written (for the most part) and shot well, but race relations is so 2001. dolly parton and her two friends had the oscar in the bag, that is until the three 6 mafia hit the stage. the song is good. the hook is superb. their performance was jaw-droppingly...terrible. and honestly, charlize, you're gorgeous, but that dress was hideous. it made marc anthony look good.

Happy birthday...

elizabeth barrett browning author, poet, originator of the "butt cut." she would have been 200 today. and would probably still be rockin' that 'do.

Add to your iPod...

mirrorball by everything but the girl tracy thorn and ben watts have been making truly great music for twenty years, but it wasn't until their song "missing" got a dance-floor makeover that their career not only took off, but took a 180 degree turn...for the better. easy-listening, soft-rock was their specialty for the first half of their career, and no one made that kind of music sexier and more tolerable than this duo. but once "missing" hit the clubs, everything but the girl was re-born. "mirrorball", off of their walking wounded album further exemplifies ebtg's versatility. a killer song on its own, the remix puts it on a whole new level. sleek and moody, the song combines the acoustic genius that watt puts on all of their songs, thorn's heartbreaking voice, and just a touch of electronica that transforms it into the brilliant piece that it is.

There is nothing better...

than leaving the office early to do some karaoke. watch out abba - i do a mean "fernando."

Add to your iPod...

just like honey by the jesus and mary chain the scots know how to make good music. this scottish band, fronted by brothers jim & william reid, hit the scene with psychocandy over twenty years ago, but hearing it now one would know no different. their sound is still so fresh and innovative that sofia coppola used "just like honey" as the closing song to her film lost in translation, a choice that was the perfect punctuation to such a nuanced film. gritty guitars, breathy vocals, and lyrics that, strangely enough, make perfect sense, this song, much like the entire library of the jesus and mary chain, proves that good music doesn't die when your album goes out of print. it gets better.

Manicures...

are overrated. calm down, i did get a manicure. it's ok for men to do so. there is even a sign posted in the salon that reads, "it's called a man-icure for a reason." ok, i made that up... but in a matter of 10 minutes, my nails were sliced, diced and then some as a very strict korean woman had her way with me. she let out her apparent sexual frustration on my fragile digits as she wielded many a strange weapon in an attempt to beautify my fingertips. my friend got a post-manicure massage; another friend had a woman who actually smiled whilst cleaning his ever-so-dirty fingernails. what did i get? bloody cuticles.

Add to your iPod...

near wild heaven by r.e.m. overshadowed by such radio-friendly hits as "losing my religion" and "low", "near wild heaven" is the little engine that could amidst a fleet of acelas. one of the few songs helmed by bassist mike mills, this song shows r.e.m. at their almost-peak: right after their college radio days, just prior to their automatic for the people opus, but way before their years of experimentation (and the days without drummer bill berry). mills's voice is hollow in contrast with michael stipe's instantly recognizable, nasal falsetto, but it works as the lead vocal on this song. fellow athenian kate pierson of the b-52's adds some flair to the background vocals as she and stipe "ba ba ba ba ba baaa" their way through the chorus and bridge. light, fun, and classic r.e.m.

Appreciate the joys of the...

sharpie quite possibly the best writing implement since the quill, though it could be argued that it is the best writing implement ever, the sharpie is not only fun to write with, it adds a kind of prestige to handwriting. sure, you can jot down notes or scribble your john hancock with a generic bic, but you automatically feel five notches more important and look ten notches better when the sharpie goes to work whilst in your paw. and luckily for us, there are now over 30 different tips and styles in the sharpie family to choose from. who cares if you get some ink on your fingers. that's merely a sharpie badge of honor.

Never underestimate...

carbohydrates. they're amazing. bread, pasta, rice, fruit, vegetables, sugar - all of the things in life that are taken for granted everyday are instantly missed the second they're ripped from your feeble, protein-only-diet body. romaine lettuce and starburst have never been more missed...

Add to your iPod...

world spins madly on by the weepies recently heard on one tree hill and grey's anatomy, the weepies (consisting of folk music's deb talan & steve tannen) are a breath of fresh air in the now-languid world of folk-rock that was once so widespread on every show on the wb. but as musical landscapes have changed through the years, and acoustic guitar duos have lost their clout, the weepies are a proud reminder of how good this music can be. simple, yet to-the-point, "world spins madly on" sucks you in and lets you go...but only after the 14th time you hear it. your ipod may get sick of playing it, but your ears will thank you.

Root for...

chris daughtry though following the already proven 'bo bice method', chris daughtry has a few more things going than ol' bo. firstly, the kid can sing. anyone who can pull off the bee gee's "emotions" with, well, emotion and a rock edge clearly has the chops to make it far in america's talent show. secondly, unlike mr. bice, chris has no hair, so if and/or when he decides to don the 'bo bice microphone dance' he will have nothing swinging around to distract his audience. thirdly, he's a genuine guy (he adopted his wife's children). honestly, though, how cool would it be to have a bald american idol? (ruben doesn't count!)

Samberg and parnz were right...

google maps is the best. true dat. double true. seriously, what can't google do to improve our lives? first the search engine, then the stock market, and now cartography. simple to use, and fun to boot, google has now made looking locations up on the internet the new black.

The olympics...

are boring. it's no wonder they're getting crushed in the ratings. everything nbc has done has been yawn-inducing. the usually entertaining 'today' has me thinking about tomorrow and how boring that program will be, too. you can only watch al roker eat so much pasta... furthermore, the competitions are boring. ice dancing? yawn. bobsled? still yawning. i'm still wondering how nbc could turn snowboarding, a sport that has dazzled x-games fans for years, into a snoozefest. and is it just me or does bob costas look dead...? can't wait for beijing.

Add to your iPod...

weightlifting by trashcan sinatras quite easily the best band that you've never heard of, this scottish quintet has been making amazing music for well over a decade. they're one of the few bands capable today of capturing the feel-good sound of brit-pop in its mid-90's heyday. their songs range from rhythm-heavy three minute pop masterpieces to piano-driven melodramatic masterpieces. the title track off of their most-recent offering, weightlifting is a peaceful, poignant song with a great hook. listen to it while looking at the cover of the album. it makes you feel like you there with the clothesline and mountains. it's almost cathartic.

Root for...

mandisa there is something about a strong, black woman who can belt out the notes that makes me want to become their best friend. this is why dot.conor is endorsing mandisa as the girl to watch on american idol. she's nice, has great teeth, and impeccable pipes. plus, she's got sass. the whole jesus freak angle has got to go, but she was able to put simon in his place after he make some remarks about her sizeable derriere. but the best part about her? she goes by one name.

Add to your iPod...

space age love song by a flock of seagulls when it comes to good, old-fashioned, 80's synth-pop, no one can match the goodness of a flock of seagulls. the second band to hail from liverpool sporting trademark haircuts, the flock is best known for the song "i ran". but it's "space age love song" that shows them in their prime (whatever that is supposed to mean). the intro itself is filled with hooks, and while the lyrics could have been written by a chimp, their simplicity blends well with the showy synthesizers and drum machines. it makes you want to go to the roller rink and rock out. ross gellar and chandler bing would be proud.

Add to your iPod...

where's summer b.? by ben folds five ben folds five was light years before its time. back when being novel meant something in the music industry, ben folds, robert sledge, and darren jessee defied all odds: they actually made great music without the help of a guitar. the piano, drum, bass combination made the band stick out in a sea of musical crap. while folds would never get to hollywood on american idol, his clever lyrics and cheeky rhythms make everyone of his songs unique. "where's summer b.?" is the standout onthe five's debut album. try not to sing along to the chorus. try not to play air piano. try not to fall in love with this song.

Embrace...

prego pasta sauce say what you will about italian food. everyone has his or her own opinion. many like northern italian food, while others prefer southern italian. well, i don't live in italy; i'm not italian. i am an american-born, irish boy who lives in new york. i pronounce calamari as 'cal-a-mar-ee', not 'cal-a-mad'; mozzarella as 'motts-a-rella', not 'moz-a-rell'. i also love pasta sauce out of a jar, specifically prego traditional. it's delicious and pleases my non-italian palette perfectly. not only that, but the commercials give me the chills. the simple song being played on a violin as a wooden spoon stirs a simmering pot of the sauce sounds lame on paper, but triggers something in you that not only makes you want to go have some spaghetti, but makes you picture an old italian grandmother slaving over a pot of sauce (not gravy). while i love good food, i'm not mario batali. this jar of pure goodness will win me over anyday.

Update...

your iPod nano, who? mini, what? forget those relics. the new ipod is the ipod to get.* sleeker, more memory, & the ability to play video (!) makes this badboy a must for any obsessed music fan. the 2.5 inch color screen is so crystal-clear, that watching video on the thing looks like a mini-plasma screen. it's thinner than the first and second generation ipods and just simply cooler. if the song is purchased via itunes (like all music should...) the album cover appears to the left of the song title, as shown in the picture. simple to use, and hot-as-hell, the new ipod is pure genius. *until the new full-screen ipod comes out...

Wear more...

pink. you don't have to save it for valentine's day. guy or girl, tan or pale, tall or short, pink looks good on most everyone. it's true. heidi klum and matt damon look good in pink. as do star jones and jared from subway. it's an equal opportunity color. as they say, try it - you just might like it.

Add to your iPod...

days of wine and roses by cassandra wilson "midnight in the garden of good and evil" is a great book. it was also a terrible movie that has a phenomenal soundtrack. the songs of johnny mercer are featured here and sung by some of the best singers ever. the standout track, however, is wilson's. her smooth, yet grainy voice mixed with minimal instrumentation lets the true star of the song, the melody, shine. the note she hits on the word 'roses' is spine-tingling. it's a great compliment to a day in which many will be bestowed wine and roses. a song of unmatched romance that is perfect for valentine's day.

Don't bother with...

the gillette fusion gillette turned the world of razors upside down a few years ago with the introduction of the mach3, a three-bladed razor that was supposed to deliver the world's best shave. since then, competitors have tried to best that razor by adding a fourth blade but have come up short. nothing could beat the mach3. well, gillette should have taken notes because their new product, the 5-bladed fusion, is awful. long story short: the thing kills! five blades sliding along your face does not feel good. you can literally feel the hair being ripped out of the follicle. the only good thing about this razor is the single blade above the strip of aloe. this allows you go get the "hard to reach places." so now this begs the question, if the only good thing about a 5-bladed razor is the additional sixth blade, then why have the other five in the first place?

Appreciate...

saved by the bell easily the guiltiest pleasure of the past two decades that television has seen, zach and the gang continually entertain still as they go through the growing pains that all bayside high students went through. their really stressful days of lounging at the max, broadcasting on kkty-bayside, and having sports practice in the middle of the day really exemplifies the average teenager's high school experience. nowhere on television today will you see such average acting, mediocre writing, and awful fashions (pleated jeans? shoulder pads? the 'flop' haircut?) on a show that is actually good. it is almost the "american graffiti" of our generation. mark-paul gosselaar has achieved stardom on 'nypd blue' and 'commander in chief'; tiffani (amber) thiessen was on '90210' and the short-lived 'fastlane'; elizabeth berkley was in "showgirls" and showed her crotch in "any given sunday"; lark voorhies was in...um....; dustin diamond was in...um...; and mario lopez was on the male version of 'the view' for the small amount of time that was on the air. but damn, did he not make the male mullet look sexy...

Watch...

first day of my life (video) by bright eyes the usually moody conor oberst (great name, ps) shows his more sensitive side with the video to this song off of his "i'm wide awake, it's morning" album. directed by hedwig's john cameron mitchell, the concept is simple: play a love song to those in love and capture their reactions. the result is stunning. people of all shapes, sizes, colors and orientations sit on the same couch with the same headphones on while listening to oberst sing such lines as, "this is the first day of my life...i'm glad i didn't die before i met you." ok, so he's not writing for hallmark, but the simplicity of his words mixed with the touching images on-screen work in a sort of brilliant harmony. a perfect thing to watch with a valentine.

There's something about...

snow in new york city. almost instantaneously, gotham is transformed from a gray, concrete hodgepodge of buildings into a stunning, white masterpiece. the eerie silence is almost as gorgeous as a snow-covered gramercy park. it's as if mother nature laid a blanket of snow as a way of calming the city that never sleeps.

Never underestimate...

a good cliche trite? yes. lame? more often than not. pertinent to any situation? very. whatever it may be, it's a cliche for a reason. so instead of shunning them, let's embrace cliche's in 2006. for as they say, everything happens for a reason...

Add to your iPod...

"night shift" by the commodores unabashed, feel-good, r&b. no where in the music world of 2006 are you able to hear "gonna be some sweet sounds comin' down on the nightshift." do people still work nightshifts? either way, this partial-ode to marvin gaye and jackie robinson (random) is a classic. backed by a wicked-smooth bass line, and slick harmonies, this song hit #1 after lionel richie hit the road for solo-ville. the song still feels fresh 20 years later...just like their afros.

Shameless plug of the day...

i know i am shocking no one here, but seriously - how great is ebay? the amount of crap that i've purchased off of this sight is sickening, but i am so happy that i have it. their ads are amazing, too. their campaign of men dancing to a re-worked version of paul anka's "my way" was genius, as is the current "it" campaign. ebay has successfully made the monkees cool again. thanks, guys.

The grammy's...

were lame three-plus useless hours could be boiled down to 30 minutes of worthy television. madonna, though looking like hilary duff at the age of 47, sounded very much her age...and had camel toe. john legend lived up to his name, while kelly clarkson showed us why she bested gwen, mariah, sheryl and bonnie all night. ms. carey sounded like she was choking on ribs during "we belong together," but knocked her second tune, "fly like a bird" out of the ballpark. the tribute to sly stone was yawn-inducing. sorry kanye, saw the marching band thing when gwen was on SNL 8 months ago. springsteen gave us springsteen. mary j. blige and u2's "one" was forgettable. chris martin needs a haircut. the best part of the night, hands-down, was paul mccartney's surprise appearance with jay-z and chester bennington as they sung his own "yesterday." those two minutes made up for sitting through the rest.

Add to your iPod...

pitselah by elliott smith gripping, and slightly foreshadowing, this quiet opus on smith's "xo" album shows why many believe he died before his time. serene and melodic, the piano interlude is the kind of stuff that will break your heart. a stellar song on a stellar album, elliott smith definitely was before his time.

In manhattan alone...

there are nearly 2 million starbucks, with at least one on every corner. so why is it that whenever i enter coffee's mecca i always have to wait in line? every time?! i don't even drink coffee! clearly not everyone is in there to buy the antigone rising cd...

Shameless plug of the day...

demko.com/deathcalculator.htm ever wonder how old you will be when death comes knocking on your door? well, me either until this nifty test found its way into my day. not as cryptic as you would imagine, but rather a test that has been around and tweaked for years to help calculate the age you will reach before the grim reaper makes an appearance. i'm not too sure how the makers of this test came up with their criteria, but who am i to scoff at science? how old will i live? a happy and healthy 91.5 years.

Add to your iPod...

i don't feel like loving you today by gretchen wilson not an anti-love song like the title suggests. it is, in fact, just the opposite. a throw-back to the older days of country music, when the likes of johnny and june carter cash, pasty cline and loretta lynn sung from deep within themselves, gretchen wilson hangs up her boots and puts down the jack daniels and gives this one all she's got. anyone who has ever been in love can relate to the singer as she laments the tortures that love can bring. the album version of this song is good, but wilson's live version (available on yahoo!) from 2005's country music association awards is flawless. quiet, bare, yet strongly emotional, wilson's voice cuts through you. the novice wouldn't know that she has it in her. but, oh man, does she ever.

Throw back...

tazo iced tea either by divine intervention, or blind luck, i stumbled upon this bottle of ethereal delight at a little, unknown coffee shop on my corner called "starbucks." as a non-coffee drinker, i opted out of my usual chai latte, and picked up an ice-cold bottle of tazo juiced tea. due to my undying thirst, i cared not if the contents of this bottle tasted good. but as i opened the top and let the contents enter my withering body, i was instantly uplifted and pleasantly surprised. not only did it satisfy my urge to be hydrated, but it delighted my tastebuds with its unique blend of tea meeting fruit. it was utterly delicious. one can't go wrong with any of the flavors that the tazo tea gods offer.

Nothing is worse...

than having to spend your day underneath fluorescent lights. not only does it make your eyes kill whilst staring blankly at your computer screen, but you look like you have jaundice under them. these are not what thomas edison had in mind when he invented the light bulb. simply gross.

Add to your iPod...

california by rogue wave simply listen and you'll know.

On second thought...

forget... the super bowl for four reasons: 1. the commercials blew. 2. one hour of grey's anatomy was better than the 8-hours of football coverage. 3. there was no nudity during the half-time show. even a 80-year old nip shot would have "started up" the stones' lame performance. 4. i was $20 in the hole in the office pool. criminal.

Add to your iPod...

jealous of the moon by nickel creek the band that made bluegrass cool, nickel creek continues to defy nashville's rules of country by making great music, not just great bluegrass-pop. made up of the watkins siblings (sarah and sean) and chris thile, the group soars on this track-a dark, yet pleasantly stirring song co-written by thile and the jayhawks' gary louris. the trio's signature harmonies, compounded with their simple trio of instruments (mandolin, violin and guitar) will turn any country/bluegrass nay-sayer into a fan. especially since nickel creek hails from san diego, which of course in german means "a whale's vagina."

This weekend...

watch... the super bowl for four reasons: 1. the commercials, obviously. 2. there will be a kick-ass episode of grey's anatomy immediately following it. 3. the chance for nudity during the half-time show. on second thought, i'll pass on seeing keith richards in the buck. 4. i could win $500 in the office pool. i'm such a sellout...

If you're in new york...

get up from your desk and go outside. right. now. it doesn't matter if it's for 30 seconds or 3 hours. today's weather is too good to pass up for the third day of the worst month of the year. screw you groundhog - we're getting a small taste of spring today.

Wear more...

colors that bring out your eyes. even if your eyes are black, wear a color that will make them stand out. no other body part makes you stand out more. a big rack and a prominent package are forgettable, but you'll never forget awesome eyes. so, do yourself a favor, and make those baby blues sparkle, those gorgeous greens pop, and those...whatever browns shine. you'll thank me in the morning.

Add to your iPod...

smog moon by matthew sweet ohhh, matthew sweet. your melodies over the years have been music to many an ear. "i've been waiting", "walk out", & "where you get love" have always been exceptionally pleasing. but, the one song that shows off sweet's skill at mastering the quintessential 70s-meets-90s pop song, is "smog moon." a sweeping melody, addictive chorus and a tambourine (!) melded with sweet's gentle falsetto make this the standout in sweet's repertoire. it's a shame that he never achieved the heights of some other, yet far more forgettable, musicians. we all know life could be a little sweeter...

Praying...

that punxsutawney phil wakes up with pirate eye tomorrow and does not see his shadow. early spring, here we come...

Get to know...

velocity girl

embodying 'girl power' before it was quasi-cool to do, velocity girl soared successfully under the radar in the '90s as the coolest girl-fronted band the music world had seen in decades. on the famed sub-pop label, sarah shannon and her boys played fun, catchy pop songs that resonate in your head long after you listen. 1994's break-out album, "simpatico", briefly put them on the musical map, as did their appearance on the clueless soundtrack. now defunct, listening to their stuff now recalls a time in music that was young and fun. "modern rock" and "college rock" used to be synonymous. velocity girl shows us why. enjoy.

Hop on the...

villanova bandwagon the team that should've beaten last year's national champions, north carolina, in the ncaa tournament, the wildcats are set and ready to strike at the national title this year. the strongest team the school has seen in decades, jay wright's crew can easily be regarded as the best team in the nation. currently number ranked 4th in the polls that count, you can mark the first day of february as they day that dot.conor predicted that the wildcats of villanova will make it to the final four. so, get out your pogo stick and hop onto the bandwagon. you don't want to be that guy come late-march...

Enjoy...

the last 5 minutes you spend in bed, for those are the last ones you're going to get all day. stop snoozing, fluff your pillow, stretch and exhale. 5 minutes is all that is necessary to bridge the gap from rem-4 sleep and the cruel world that awaits you out of the covers. even if you have the carpenter's "rainy days & mondays" playing in your head every morning when your alarm goes off, the 5 minutes awaiting you can spend in bed before you have to get up will make any day better.

Add to your iPod...

dark blue by jack's mannequin the side project of something corporate's andrew mcmahon sounds just like, well, something corporate. but there's a newness to the sound, especially on "dark blue." mcmahon's piano, mixed with his falsetto, establish this as the stand-out track on a very strong album. plus, you think of the color blue throughout the entire song. and who is the man behind the drumkit? none other than tommy lee.

You should...

be wearing... calvin klein underwear so, if you're like me and you bought a few pair of ck boxerbriefs so you could look like the guy in the ads, you soon found out that it takes more than a simple pair of underduds to help you look like freddie ljundberg. even so, wearing said duds make you feel hotter instantaneously. have the colored waistband conveniently rise above your pants' waistline. walk with a new swagger due to the prominence of your package. get a tattoo of a panther crawling from your crotch. wait, scratch that last idea. wearing the underwear is enough.

Blame everything on...

george bush. everything.

Add to your iPod...

can't hardly wait by the replacements what good music sounds like. light, fun, yet packs a punch, paul westerberg & co. 1987 ode to good times is one of the landmark band's best songs. the title inspired the film of the same name, but luckily jennifer love hewitt has nothing to do with the song. press play, close your eyes and imagine that it's summer. it's almost here. (for extra credit, listen to "skyway", the track previous to this one. it's a ballad with guitar work so good, it's almost dream-like.)

Spread the word...

conormcgill.com is the new home to dot.conor, america's fastest-growing internet sensation.

Appreciate...

diet coke the true champion of the soft drink world, for copycat creations such as diet rite, pepsi one, and even coke zero, have all fallen flat (pun intended). even as coca-cola adds different flavors to its landmark recipe, such as vanilla, lime, and black cherry vanilla, there is still nothing as refreshing as a straight-up diet coke. especially from a fountain...when hungover. and the fact that the trademark 80's tagline, "just for the taste of it" can still be remembered by anybody born after 1982 is a testament to its staying power. not to mention that both elton john and whitney houston appeared in their tv spots. oh, and remember lucky vanuous from their 1994 ad campaign...? i know you do.

Well done...

oprah looking simply stunning as she raked james frey over the coals again and again, harpo shined as she turned the bitch up 20 notches. gone were the cocker spaniel curls, the "john travolta!!!" exclamations and the flabby underarms. instead, ope looked extremely classy and relatively subdued. granted, she was covering her ass after defending the not-so-truthful author of a not-so-much-of-a-memoir-afterall memoir, but to come out and say she was flat-out wrong is a big thing, especially in today's world of leaders feeling invincible. (editor's note: dot.conor waxed poetic on this subject two weeks ago and is standing by its original statements.) to quote ms. winfrey, "you go girl." wow, that sounded terrible...

Add to your iPod...

bang theory by world leader pretend what do you get when you mix better than ezra, rufus wainwright, new radicals, with a splash of robbie williams? a great band from new orleans whose song, bang theory, has one of the best hooks of any song in recent memory. named after the REM song of the same name, the band's banging pianos lay the ground work, while horns and strings add just enough punch to make this tune worthy of being blared at your next loft party. perfect to get the weekend started. it's the escapade of 2006.

Experience...

the constant gardener what should be a shoe-in for an oscar nomination, this powerhouse of a film resonates with you long after you see it. months after, even. rachel weisz gives one of the best performances by an actor in years as the young, muckracker of corrupt governments. stunning visuals, a sweeping score, and spot-on storytelling make this an amazing film. it sucks you in and slowly spits you out as the many layers unfold before you. the sad part of it all is, what is happening on-screen is most-likely also happening off of it. brilliant.

Add to your iPod...

why don't you find out for yourself by morrissey not as brooding as his days with the smiths, but equally as new-sounding and stylish, "why don't you find out for yourself" is the best song off of his 1994 return to greatness. sweeping, yet slowly energetic, morrissey melds his soothing voice with quick-paced acoustic guitars and drum beats. but you can't have a morrissey song without his signature "woe is me" lyrics, and you'll find plenty of them here. nonetheless, the song still shines amidst a sea of gems.

Take a deep breath...

and smile. no matter how bad your life may seem, take a second out of your day to re-center yourself, think of something happy or funny, and smile. it'll make you feel much better. scouts' honor.

Discover...

one tree hill now that the wb and upn are merging to become the cw, the fate of this cult fave is up in the air. so now is the time to fall in love with lucas, nathan, brooke, peyton, haley and the rest of tree hill, nc. the storylines are not even remotely plausible in the real world, but somehow they're convincing as hell. love triangles, revenge, family crisises, and basketball are what this show is made of. and each week we are treated to the best in new music. a hot cast + good tunes + melodrama = good tv. set your tivos accordingly.

Shameless plug of the day...

vintagevantage.com dot.conor has zero affiliation with the above website, but it's a long-time favorite, for the sole fact that i want every t-shirt on the site. in some social circles it's kosher to spend $4000 on a t-shirt. for some reason, i can't seem to find said circle... i so wish i could, because i would snatch all of this ish up in a second.

Take more pleasure in...

showering. don't just hop in, lather up and peace out. take your time. the shower is the only place where we are truly alone (well, most of the time...). so use this opportunity to relax, take a deep breath, and chill. take an extra five minutes in there, too. nothing can be that important that you can't spend some quality time with the best person you know - yourself. you'll thank me. i know it.

Add to your iPod...

one by johnny cash go right ahead. accuse me of jumping on the johnny cash bandwagon. i am not going to listen, because this song kills. (terrible pun...) cash's version of u2's megahit didn't get the airplay that his cover of nine inch nails' hurt did, but it's equally, if not more, powerful. from his "american iii: solitary man" album, it is only fitting that he perform a song about the loneliest number. you've seen and heard joaquin do a pretty damn good job in walk the line, now listen to this song and experience the real johnny cash.

Wear more...

cufflinks pretension, my ass. cufflinks add a level of class most accessories can't. and no, i'm not talking about a thumb ring. wear a french-cuffed shirt to work with sneakers, and you'll be amazed at how many people comment on your 'links. you can never do wrong with classic sterling silver. add your monogram. get stares from others. get laid.

Discover the joys of...

grapefruit juice. not only is it good for you, its taste is pure heaven. add vodka and you have my favorite brunch beverage. add to that triple sec and a splash of grenadine and you have my favorite summer beverage. writing this has made me realize how much i enjoy the word 'beverage' and how much i wish i had one instead of merely writing about them. sigh...

Add to your iPod...

forget myself by elbow forget coldplay. this is the british band to embrace. listen to this song once and it will remind you of how good music can be. listen to it twice and you'll become addicted. simply awesome.

Embrace...

the semi-colon. it's tough to use, but when it's done correctly, you will not only feel good about yourself, but come across as smarter to others. and it's just fun to use. ok, putting the dork away now...

You should...

Be reading... glamorama by bret easton ellis another feather in ellis' already fucked up hat, glamorama successfully epitomizes the seedy underworld of sex, drugs, and, obviously, glamour of the late 90s. smokin' guys, hot chicks, coke, blow-jobs and klonopin all star in this thrilling read. so the plot goes slightly awry towards the end. but, so what. the shower scene is enough to make you want to come back for more. can't wait for the movie.

Working out...

should never be done in jeans, a polo shirt, or man-pri's. take it from me, the gym rat. (cue: roaring laughter)

Add to your iPod...

ascension (don't ever wonder) by maxwell maxwell was huge 10 years ago with his 'urban hang suite'. now, a decade later, his sound is still as fresh, as displayed in this song. open a bottle of cristal, turn the bass up, and get freaky to this neo-soul treat on repeat. hearing it once just isn't enough.

Admit it...

soap operas are your guilty pleasure, too. whether you're caught up in the gay-bashing story line on 'gh', or you're dying for shawn to not marry mimi whilst dr. marlena evans hangs on for dear life on the edge of a building on 'dool' (general hospital & days of our lives, for the layperson) soap operas are the new crack. even if you haven't watched in years, program the tivo to record any episode and like magic, you can pick up the storylines in seconds. reach for the kleenex as nurse bobbie on 'gh' learns of her son being gay, and hope brady loses her son to a wreckless driving step-daughter on 'dool'. screw desperate housewives. this is the good ish.

Spend your sundays with...

grey's anatomy

dr. mcdreamy and co. never cease to deliver in the best drama on television. week in, week out, we faithful viewers are left emotionally drained as the docs of seattle grace hospital perform miracles in the operating room, while boning each other senseless in every other room in the hospital. if i were to ever need a life-saving operation, i'd hope my hospital staff would be as hot as this one. chandra wilson (dr. bailey) floors me with every line she speaks, while poor ellen pompeo's meredith grey needs to speak less and eat more. i'm sorry mcdreamy broke your heart. truly, i am. but you have to eat something. even a slim jim would suffice. just remember to brush your teeth before talking to your patients. bad breath does not bode well for good bedside manor.

Raise your self-esteem & watch...

american idol stop the presses! paula isn't cracked out (yet) this season! gone are the seal claps, the slurred words, and the bedding of semi-underage contestants! paula, what has happened?! no one likes you being coherent. and stern. you've become a tough broad. granted, a lot of the, ahem, talent has sucked the fat one thus far, but come on abdul! pop some pills so we can not only laugh at your idiotic rants but also at the fools who think they can sing. if only you were high during zachary's painful rendition of 'queen of the night.' that'd be some great television.

Incorporate...

double entendres into your work conversations. nothing makes a boss or co-worker squirm more than "jim took on that extra load last night, hence why he's walking a little uneasy this morning..."

Embrace...

the v-neck sweater they're not just for prep schools anymore.

Add to your iPod...

goodnight and go by imogen heap guaranteed that you've heard her song "hide & seek" on the oc's 2nd season finale last may, or you've heard her as one half of the outfit frou frou. but this track off of her newly-released album here in the states makes you recall the giddy feeling of being in love. put it on, turn it up, and grin ear to ear. it works. believe me.

Add to your iPod...

piano in the dark by brenda russell long before mary j. was mary j., and beyonce was beyonce, there was brenda russell. you may not recognize her name right away, but you will recognize this 1988 power ballad the moment it hits the eardrums. not really sure what is going on in her album cover, but before long you will find yourself dancing the same way as you sway to this gem. and try not to belt out the chorus along with her. just pretend it's still '88 and "solid gold" is still on the air.

It's a great day to be...

gay the golden globes finally came out of the closet last night as "hollywood's biggest party" did away with the red carpet and replaced it with a rainbow one. brokeback mountain won a slew. philip seymour hoffman & felicity huffman won top honors for gay'ing it out in some way, shape or form. openly gay marc cherry's desperate housewives topped the tv awards, again. and now onto the coveted dot.conor awards of the night: best speech goes to felicity huffman. best coke nose goes to jonathan rhys-meyers. best job of eating everything at her table goes to camryn manheim. cutest couple goes to the phillippe's. best jump rope goes to mandy moore.

Pay attention to...

graffiti on the posters in subway stations. i find myself laughing hysterically at what some people write on them. simple, yet brilliant. there are also some well-put political statements thrown on some, as well. all-in-all, the comments written in sharpie are far more entertaining than the posters themselves. but, then again, sony would never write "i can't act" above tea leoni's head on the fun with dick & jane poster...

Skip...

hostel the most unrealistic film i've seen since "dude, where's my car?" gratuitous nudity (and not the good kind...), bad acting, and worse writing, make this a total waste of time and money. ok, i will admit to watching a good chunk of this through my hands, but by the end of it i was laughing out loud, and a good, hearty laugh at that. and did you know that when you sever ones optic nerve, a pudding-like substance is secreted?! me either...

Become obsessed with...

amy poehler i am. she's the funniest person in america. a filthy genius. and soon-to-be mother of my children.

Invest in a...

blue hat nothing makes you look better whilst hungover than a blue hat. dot.conor endorses the cubs, for the mere fact that it advertises the best letter around. 1st runner up would be the dodgers. guaranteed to make anyone look smokin'. i should know.

I'm over...

the fact that james frey made up his memoir, a million little pieces. oprah dug it, as have millions more, so who honestly cares? just change the work 'memoir' to the word 'fiction.' done and done. for who hasn't made up stories about themselves and turned it into a best-seller? have you not read the bible?

Add to your iPod...

life on mars? by david bowie do the lyrics make sense? not at all. but bowie's powerful voice lifts this little gem from his "hunky dory" album of 1971 and makes it an instant classic. do your very best to illegally search and download his version from last year's fashion rocks concert. bowie+a piano+nothing else = you'll forget he ever wore make-up.

Nothing is more important than...

good grammar there is no greater truth in the world.

Appreciate the genius of...

anchorman will ferrell & co. never cease to amaze me with one of the top 5 comedies of all-time. "mr. burgundy, you have a massive erection..." sheer hilarity.

Discover...

philadelphia the city of brotherly love is often over-shadowed by its larger neighbor to the north, but this diamond in the rough can easily stand on its own. whether you visit for the history, the sports, the cheesesteaks, or the nightlife, philly will prove itself to not only be the best thing about pennsylvania, but will solidify itself as the best big-small city to visit when one wants to leave the biggest-small city of all. and get this - philly is a big city that has trees...and grass...and wildlife other than pigeons. quite the novel idea.

Wear more...

neckties nothing looks better on than a tie. and nothing makes you feel better. wear a tie to a bar and get welcome stares. dress-down friday? throw a tie on with your jeans. you'll be the talk of the office. trust me. i'm wearing one today.

Add to your iPod...

pounding by doves try not to become obsessed with this ditty by the underrated UK threesome. with addictive drum beats and a catchy hook, this song will make you want to take the top off of your 3-series, turn your speakers to 11 and drive around town blaring it. now, if only I had said 3-series...

Mother nature...

is a prick-tease. taunting us with spring-like weather in the beginning of january is filthy and cruel.

Get to know...

the magic numbers they're the 2000's version of abba...only without the gold lamee, the feathered hair, and the swedish pop influences. actually, the magic numbers are nothing like abba, save the fact that the band is made up of two sets of siblings. they, instead, play happy, folk pop. "love me like you" & "forever lost" are essentials for the ol' nano.

Never underestimate...

the importance of a good bed. not only will your body thank you for the better nights of sleep it'll get, your libido will also thank you for good sex always accompanies a good bed.

Nerd it up...

go forth, young man, and dive into the new york magazine crossworld puzzle. who cares if your only friends are synonyms? there is nary a better feeling than besting this sucker. your pilot g-2 will thank you.

Take notes on...

syriana this gang bang of the mind will have you scratching your chin more than the usual suspects & the silence of the lambs combined. george clooney and matt damon turn out fantastic performances, but the real dynamite of this movie is...amanda peet. who would've thought that the actress of such afi-worthy films as saving silverman, a lot like love, and the whole ten yards would be able to level the audience with one scene. giving nothing away, she knocked it out of the park with one swing in one of the film's most disturbing, gut-wrenching scenes. powerful stuff.

January's underrated list...

rachel weisz. horseradish. & karaoke. she is the best young actress on the screen right now. her performance in the constant gardener was spotless and spot-on. horseradish is the undisputed king of the underrated condiment. ketchup is swell, and mustard cuts, well, the mustard. but there is nothing that adds a shockingly good twist to any food than horseradish. and it comes in multiple colors. the last time i checked, there was no green mayonnaise. at least not on purpose. and i love karaoke. practically infatuated with the concept. gather up a few pals, let your guard down, and dive into a stirring rendition of "the closer i get to you." beyond cathartic. impress your friends with your song knowledge. who knew that vicki lawrence is responsible for the classic "the night the lights went out in georgia"? oh wait, i did...

Add to your iPod...

wonderful by adam ant the best song of 1995 will undoubtedly become your favorite new old song of 2006.

I'm over...

passive aggression.

Go see...

transamerica you'll laugh (and cry) your dick off.

You should...

Be wearing... crocs heinous? yes. gay? of course. an orgasm for your feet? amen. these rubber blessings from up above are the most amazing thing to happen to feet since, well, anything. you may get stared at, have flasks thrown at you, or even question your taste in clothing, but once you walk a mile in these bad boys you'll want to walk another one. and when the naysayers get bunions, you'll have the last laugh.

There is no better feeling than...

fridays. it doesn't matter if you're hungover as hell, you have to walk 4 miles in a blizzard, your hair looks like shit, or you have an immense amount of work lurking over your head, the mere fact that it's f-day makes life so much better. if only step by step were still on the air...

You Should...

Be drinking... smart water not only does the best beverage on earth come in sleek, classy bottles, but it does the trick gatorade does...but without the calories. plus, it tastes better than regular water. it does. trust me. run a 5k, down a bottle of this magical potion, and you'll be ready to run another. or, in my case, run 5 blocks to the liquor store, drink said liquor, and in the morning, saunter over to the refrigerator and open a bottle of awesome and your body will thank you forever. or until you rape it with alcohol again.

So This Is A Blog...

i've always shunned blogs. promised myself to never read one, nor become the dreaded 'blogger.' for who really cares about what some kid has to say on his or her lame home-made website? well... turns out, this kid does. and so should you. welcome to dot.conor